Journal-ing
Mariposa
by Kamiya Kumar on January 12, 2019
Traveling means so many different things to different people at varying phases of life. Sometimes it could be a vacation a break from the routine as we know it, with an intention of discovering new places, at times solely for adventure sports, camping and being close to nature, for spending time together with loved ones, a retreat, spending time with oneself, going on a elongated journey where one immerses oneself in other cultures, homes and ways of lives, learning about the world, getting inspired and adding new facets to one’s self, or a little bit of everything.
For me, every travel I have undertaken has had a different meaning, depending on where I am placed in life personally, with the struggles I may be facing and what I am seeking in the moment. The interesting bit being that I myself may not even be aware of these varying aspects till much later. Sometimes, these are self-realizations that happen amidst travels, through conjecture with friends or at a later stage through writings and introspection.
My current trip to Colombia & Ecuador with 2018 wrapping up & the advent of 2019 brought with it the unfolding of many layers. I had just completed a very intense semester where my engagements had exceeded the time in hand, and so it was safe to say at the culmination of the term, I was so ready to take a much-needed break. This trip was unlike others I had taken because the itinerary was completely open-ended. Apart from booking stay at the first destination, the rest of the month was flexible and unplanned. I did have an overview of places that I wanted to visit and was intending to make my way down from Colombia to Ecuador while making different pit stops across the two countries, but where I would be staying, which cities would I eventually visit, the duration of my stay, was going to be based on local recommendations, experiences and flow of the heart.
A very different way of approaching life than one does in the work / academic space where a lot of the times each minute is accounted for through the day. Nonetheless, even in these moments, I aspire to optimize each instant so that I continue to create and revel in magic, aiming to connect, celebrate and create value in the dailies, which can often be fixed, rigid and oppressive. However, this is easier said than done, because the way the world has been constructed and systems have been set up, the goal is to often robotize people’s way of thinking, acting & engaging. One central way of being is defined as the pen-ultimate, resulting in lack of innovation, originality and difference. Interactions are influenced by ‘societal’ expectations and there is intentional isolation of certain individuals and communities from others. It is surely a tough space to negotiate, whether one is aware (or not) of these multiple factors at play.
Thus, with this unconscious and conscious burden that we tend to carry, I departed for my travels. For the first week, it seemed, I was in many ways still seeped and connected to the external, not physically but primarily through one’s thoughts. One could say it was processing the previous 4-month intense semester, which in my opinion, is a healthy way of reflecting upon experiences, garnering lessons learnt and gaining insight on what one would like to do differently while moving forward. Yet amidst this process as one reflects, the way the human minds functions, it is estimated that 60,000 - 80,000 thoughts flow through a human mind in a day, making that approx. 2900 thoughts an hour. The reason I mention this is because when one is constantly connected to the external, based on other’s perceptions and expectations the thoughts that involuntarily frequent the mind [at least the way I often experience it] are more society driven. Even if one is eventually not attached to the judgment of others, Mead would reckon that the self is initially formulated on the basis of how we think others think of and perceive us. Therefore, it takes consistent and ongoing effort on our respective ends to dig deeply beyond these layers to truly discover and reveal our raw wild authentic self.
With each passing day during my travel, I felt this inexplicable sensation of letting go. Since, this travel was an amalgamation of spending time with wildlife, hiking, my first scuba dive, swinging over a cliff, swimming with hammerhead & Galapagos sharks, sting rays & sea-turtles, with every adventure I undertook, my soul began to open and expand. I re-commenced breathing freely. Entwined doubts, regrets and fears in the form of fundamental darkness that limit human capacity, began to be replaced with a re-belief in infinite possibilities and power of the self. Every sense was awakened in every single moment of the day, in every interaction, through every challenge and what was being experienced was absolute joy, love and celebration of life itself.
A snake shedding its skin
A flower blooming its petals
Clouds lifting to reveal an initially concealed yet majestic volcano
Like a Phoenix rising from the dead,
A caterpillar metamorphosing into a mariposa,
Fiery waterfall cascading in magnificent glory
Transformation.
Once again, after a very long time, I felt re-united and re-connected.
The layers had been shattered,
Transient was ready to reveal the true.
End of the Story? I wish. No better way than to end with the transient revealing the true.
The biggest challenge nevertheless, has been the instinct to attempt to hold on to these feelings, especially, as one prepares towards the culmination of the travels to transition back into ‘real world’. These feelings of expansion, depth, authenticity, belief and celebration awaken in many ways the ninth consciousness, a phenomenon that lies within each of us. Yogis would refer it to as the satvic, indicating the pure bliss and happiness that we all possess as human beings, which tends to gets muddied & lost with the added societal layers, perceptions and expectations. Regardless of one’s circumstances, the idea though across spiritual practices, is to keep the ninth consciousness optimized.
In this travel, however, my adventures were able to bring me closer to this sense of authenticity, which I have found earlier across different experiences. Synchronized with the ephemerality of life and change, I continue to locate, experience and then loose these sensations. And as a reminder to myself, the whole point of these profound moments is not to hold on, merely experience and embrace them, continuing to open my soul in ways that could internalize this way of being, beyond my human comprehension. The one realization I have had is that even though I have experienced these sensations by taking one path, it’s not necessary that I will experience the same profundity if I walk the exact path again. So my big learning this trip is that I need to re-invent my adventures, escapades and voyages in ways I don’t know yet, haven’t imagined before and am about to discover :D
Solo Traveller
by Kamiya Kumar on June 30, 2017
An Indian girl and solo traveller don’t often come together in one sentence! This is my story. Life just hasn’t been the same ever since, I began exploring. Exploring the world around me, the people, wildlife, quaint towns, plants, different cultural contexts and me. I’m currently in Costa Rica on the Caribbean side in a magical town Puerto Viejo. This town has a certain energy and vibe, because of which myriad passing travellers have just decided to stay! With my sole aim this summer being to teach yoga, I arrived here looking to set up base. I biked to several places and began teaching in a few different hostels and studios. For me, the combination of teaching yoga and travel has been extraordinary. I’m able to share the practice, partake in the light, stillness and love and meet some incredible people in the process. This has been such a defining feature that in all my future travels I intend to teach yoga as I move between towns and nations, contributing to the community and in turn, learning more about people and the places.
On attending a ‘Tell Your Story’ workshop in Puerto Veijo, I found it interesting to learn that the deity of writing was apparently a Goddess called Nidaba. The conversation led to how such few narratives are recorded in history from a woman’s perspective. History has been relayed in a man’s voice, which got me thinking about the historical patriarchal structure that still continues to be deeply ingrained in our systems across international contexts. At every stage of our lives, whether as young girls, teenagers or as women, the threat posed by men on our bodies as one is objectified through lewd comments, rape on university campuses or in private / public spaces, skewed competition for leadership positions at work to name a few, is meant to create this ever-lasting inherent fear, so that as women have been for centuries, we are forced into continually holding our silence. I do however, believe that it's integral for men to be involved in these conversations, so that they can begin to listen to these stories, and each one of us can individually and collectively participate in re-writing history. In the meanwhile, to contest and overcome this inherent fear that was instilled in me while growing up, I find that travel especially solo travel, has been one of the most powerful ways to transform the deeply inbuilt trepidations of what it means to be a girl.
As I stay on my own, bike around bumping into baby sloths on my way to teach yoga, take hikes through the jungle, sign up for surfing lessons, discover new paths around town, meet fellow travellers, make new friends, return a doggy back to its home, have a big blue crab as a neighbor, go for salsa classes, find beaches where it seems like I’m the only person alive in this world, visit a local school to initiate a playground cleanup, practice Spanish, wake up to howler monkeys and vacilando my way to the next adventure, I have never felt more alive. The world truly is one’s oyster and as I continue to have these experiences every day I wonder, “How do the geese know when to fly to the sun? Who tells them the seasons? How do we, humans, know when it is time to move on? As with the migrant birds, so surely with us, there is a voice within, if only we would listen to it, that tells us so certainly when to go forth into the unknown”, Elizabeth Kübler-Ross. My heart has been speaking to me for decades, however, it is only very recently that I’ve started listening! Rising above the cacaphony that surrounded me, I began to listen to the voice within, which has started leading me to paths that I hadn’t foreseen or anticipated - the beauty of unpredictability and the unknown.
As I sit facing the ocean, writing and creating my memorabilia, I am happy to be able to share my story. I am happy to have taken the plunge and amidst all the challenges that solo travel bring with it, such as moments of involuntary solitude, uncertainty, walking alone back from a bar at night, swindling taxis, the experience is indubitably, worth it! I do believe that, “not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves”, Henry David Thoreau. As I embed myself in these different experiences, where every single day I discover something new and different, I cannot fathom that I have been living and continue to live in cities, so disconnected from the plants, jungles, ocean and wildlife. Maybe after these travels where I am getting an opportunity to live and really immerse myself in wilderness, eventually I may end up far far way from the cities, surrounding myself by the simple yet profound treasure called nature.
